Cat internally debates whether or not to rip head off smaller creature it just met

The cat's internal struggle - murder everything in sight or to just keep walking? Decisions, decisions.

cat making decisions

Here's a telling "news" story from the Onion. ;)

ROCKVILLE, MD—Staring attentively at the potential prey while carefully weighing its best course of action, local cat Jasper was reportedly locked in an intense internal debate Wednesday about whether or not to rip the head off a smaller creature it had just happened upon.

“Hmm, should I just walk on by or should I sink my teeth into its neck and pop that little head right off?” the 6-year-old American shorthair reportedly thought to itself, prowling within striking distance as it mulled over viciously decapitating the seemingly unaware chipmunk that stood foraging in the grass just a few feet away from it or simply continuing on with its day. “I could pounce on that thing and snap its head off in one bite, easy. Or I could just slink over there and curl up on that chair on the deck. Tough call.”

At press time, the cat had opted to bat around the mortally wounded rodent a few dozen times to give it a little extra time to decide.

A helpful tip from our kitty CEO - "a decapitated rodent head makes a great gift for your human servants. It shows them how awesome you are (mighty ninja hunter) and it helps them learn how to hunt for themselves. The more screaming that comes from their mouths - the better. I suggest leaving it in their bed so they don't miss it."

murder schedule