Cooking with Chef Gus
Welcome to the weekly "Cooking with Chef Gus." I help cats cook up delicious and easy meals!
This week's entrée - mouthwatering goldfish with a side of mashed worms!
I know, the name itself sounds delicious and intriguing. And it iz! Since fish may be hard to come by, let's have this meal be a nice and quick snack for 1.
So, let's start off with the ingredients.
1 Goldfish - human's love fish for some reason. And they put them in invisible force fields so we can't eat them. But to catch them iz easy. It'll be messy, but the human will eventually clean it up. If the aquarium fortress iz small enough, headbutt it onto its side. The water will spill out, and if you're lucky, so will the fish. (It doez not have to be a goldfish, any will do.) If not, just stick your pawz in there and snatch the flopping fish. (Catching the fish iz half the fun!). If human haz no aquarium fortress or fish, there are usually some local ponds in human backyards that you can stalk and hunt.
Two pawz of worms - Now this can be difficult, but it iz worth it if you can find em. You can find worms in the backyard in some wet mud or dirt. They are usually plentiful come summer. Just dig until you get your pawz on the squirmy goodness. If you happen to live in the city or not allowed outside, here iz an easy trick. Kill something and leave it in the sun where the human can't see or get to it. It'll rot, and maggots will magically appear. This works just az well. Do this throughout the house until you haz enough.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil - human kitchen should be stocked.
Non-stick frying pan
Hammer - this will be fun
Cup of heavy cream
Stick of butter - yes a full stick. We haz 9 lives, we'll be ok.
Pinch of catnip - just a pinch! Or two.... three....
- 1 lemon
Let's get cookin!
Grease the pan with the olive oil and set the stove to low. Once you haz the goldfish, and after you iz done playing with it and tossing it around the living room, toss it into the pan. Let that sit.
Now the fun part. Grab your bundle of worms, and toss it into the pot. Az they wiggle, grab the hammer. Swing and smash them in the pot until it iz a gooey glorious murder scene. Admire your work, and then pour a cup of heavy cream in. Grab a stick of butter and toss that in too. Turn the stove on medium, and stir every two minutes (do it for about 10).
Back to the fish. Flip it once it iz a nice golden brown, and flakey, and repeat until whole fish iz golden brown. Toss in the pinch of catnip now, and let the fish soak in the flavor. Let that sit for another minute or so, and keep in the pan until the mashed worms iz ready.
Keep stirring the pot until it haz a nice thick and creamy consistency. Pinch a little catnip in there. Don't worry, I won't tell ;). Now, go grab a plate and plop the mashed worms into the center. Go grab the fish, and gently scrape it out and place it atop the mashed worms. Grab the lemon, and slice it with your magnificent clawz. (Or a knife) Squeeze a few drops onto the fish and around the plate.
One last thing! Grab yourself a nice glass of mouse blood and enjoy your night. ;)
Until next week, cheers!
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