Tips to help you and your cat have a better relationship

Hello, humans. I iz here to tell you tips for you to have a better relationship with your cat.

Tip 1: We cats are superior. Once you realize and accept this, everything iz much easier. Understand your role, humans.

Tip 2: We cats have no boundries. Telling us not to hop on the table, iz just stupid. We are going to do it and lick ourselves while you watch us do it. 

Tip 3: Feed us whenever we feel hungry. Even if we aren't hungry, feed us. 

Tip 4: Do not wake us when we sleep. But we can wake you. Don't argue. 

Tip 5: Bells. We hate bells. Stop attaching bells to us. 

Tip 6: We like only a specific number of belly rubs. Once you pass the limit, we will bite and scratch like hell. Standard protocol for us cats. 

Tip 7: Midnight random runs have no meaning or reason. We feel the madness take over and our bodies become vehicles of awesomeness. Stop yelling at us, or the madness gets wilder.

Tip 8: If we fits, we sits. Just becuz its your laptop, dinner, or face, it means nothing to us. Just let it happen.

Tip 9: We want attention when we want attention. We will let you know. We don't care if you're up pulling an all nighter for school or a project for work. If we want pets, we're going to get pets. Or we'll break something.

Tip 10: We own everything in the house. All items are due for inspection and random raids. Anything out of place gets attacked. Yes, you put a glass of wine on the counter. But that counter iz my walking space. I had to kill it and smack it off the table. 

Tip 11: "No" haz absolutely no meaning to us. We don't believe in no. Just accept and say yes.